Fear

Fear
is here
Taking up every particle
Every blood cell
Until I get to the bottom of...
What truly is in me that makes me fearful

Last month's poem - might be a song

sorry for my delay in reply
I was waiting to be respected

you know I love you
more than you love I
So please don't lie
Please don't lie

I'm too afraid to have dreams
This safety net is killing me






don't worry I'm over it now
photo (c) 2011 Meri Everitt

soooo tired

tired of waiting
tired of waiting for yooouuuuu


Shit!  That's not mine

so tired i refuse to capitalise
no extra digit on that shift key
no siree

today i punish my body
consciously
does it make it worse or better
when one is self aware
but still involuntary
question mark
punctuation
i think if you were to bore a hole in my skull
black tar would come out
still of this earth
but toxic
incongruent
like my shoulders
my neck
visual art needed
to depict
this wonkiness






















(c) John Lee Bird

Still on a creative tip

Oh Ryan
Tonight I'm not in the mood
Even for you
Just hungry
Not cold
Tired and alone
And joyful in that
Too afraid
Of anyone
Any men
Sacrificing cash
For love
Nobody wants to give anything any more
We're all too greedy
So scared of losing
Of regret

Should I do a separate blog for creative writing? WHATtheHEY

When will this poison dissipate?
I am complaining
Regret eats away at intent
Doubt makes me doubt myself
Okay that's obvious
I was obviously blind
But don't look back
We naturally try to work out what we did wrong
Every time
Outwardly blaming others
Inwardly despising ourselves
Maybe before I never got to the point
Where I was complete
I yearned five years
I still yearn
I am still incomplete
But spring comes
In the spring
Not earlier
Obviously
So
I'll steer away from the topic of global warming for now and just wait





if you don't want creative writing and only want news, let me know by posting a comment saying: NEWS ONLY! or somesuch.

back to the old Blooog - Poem

In the good old days when all I had was a Myspace Page, I used to blog poems I wrote on it. I'd like to do it again so here's something:

just let me do
something creative tonight
this lust so strong
it could fuel any endeavour
and burn buildings down to the ground

Pia pia piano piano piano

Dear readers

I was in Livingston studios on Sunday with their lovely baby grand piano, and the wonderful Leo Osborn.

The Songs 'Caledonian Sleeper' and 'Valentine's Day' were treated to Leo's ivoric tinkledom.

And here is a hilarious outtake (we didn't actually get an 'intake' - I wanted to lie on the piano but Kev said the lid would squash the microphones - killjoy).


In the interim, before the outer rim of my debut 'studio' album, 'More Quirk, Less Work' - an album of acoustic streams of consciousnesses; overspills from my Debut album 'Insert Quirky Title Here...' - is available for download. Yes of course you understood that sentence.

Tom Herbert's Bass. Tom Herbert's and Kev Feazey's beards. My Shania Twain video

...Just recorded lovely double bass by Tom Herbert (Polar Bear, Acoustic Ladyland) for the new album.

I'm really looking forward to how these tracks will sound! A track called Caledonian Sleeper, one called My Secret Hell, and we did some double bass on the new recording of What Is It In You? Which will NOT sound the same as the old version! Eeeek!

Tom and Kevin Feazey (with whom I am co-producing the album) have exactly the same beard. I'm so sorry I did not get a photo opportunity in. You'll just have to take my word for it. I do not have the same beard as either Tom Herbert or Kevin Feazey. We had a lovely conversation about war and governments, conspiracies and responsibility. Sociological debate is mandatory in my house. Kev instructed me to hide the Shania Twain video I had in my bedroom (the recording room). I'm of the understanding that every human being holds Shania Twain's lightbeam closely to their hearts. She's for the people. But sometimes her music is misconstrued and, to unenlightened people, can seem quite scary. As a result of the concealed video, working its power under a Tori Amos VHS and some remote controls, Tom's bass parts were performed excellently. Some even with a bow! Sumptuous loveliness (musicianship has become like food and/or a good quality John Lewis feather duvet to me).


Interim Jessica Grace Bandcamp goings on are as follows:
New releases (all free download/pay what you want):
Strange Machines EP - all the tracks from the EP I used to sell on the London Acoustic circuit when I first moved here. Started off with 6 tracks, ended up with 13 tracks after people kept offering to record me!
This Guy (single) - the 2 first ever songs I recorded with Kev Feazey
(also available on the Strange Machines EP)
Also coming soon to Bandcamp will be 'More Quirk, Less Work' - a collection of all the songs that were worked on in the process of me recording my first album, and acoustic sketches from 2008/9, PLUS an album of demos of the songs that did not make this album. Prolificness-tastic.

Also, set for August this year I will be touring Germany. More about this to follow.